Silage Juice Single A satirical and detailed illustration showing a farmer standing next to his wife inside their rustic farmhouse. The farmer is covered in silage juice1.webp.webp
Silage Juice and Single ‘Til Further Notice
Performed by Bale Harrison & The Texas Field Hands
The End of the End of the Farm – Music and Lyrics by Alan Nafzger
Verse 1:
Well, I was workin’ hard down by the pit,
Loadin’ up the silage, tryin’ not to quit.
Then I felt a splash, oh Lord, what a mess,
Silage juice on my shirt, pants, and vest.
I thought, “No big deal, it’s just a little grass,”
But that smell hit me harder than a cow’s… sass!
I looked at my boots, and I started to choke,
That silage juice, man, it ain’t no joke!
Chorus:
If you spill silage juice on your clothes, congratulations,
You’re now officially single, no need for explanation.
That smell sticks around like a bad reputation,
You’ll be sleeping solo without hesitation.
Forget dating apps, forget the town dance,
‘Cause that silage stench just ruined your chance.
Yeah, you’re single ’til further notice, that’s the truth,
All thanks to that silage juice!
Verse 2:
I walked in the house, tryin’ to play it cool,
But my girl took one whiff, said, “You smell like a mule.”
She grabbed a candle, sprayed the room with Febreze,
But that silage juice hung on like a bad breeze.
She said, “Honey, I love ya, but I need some space,
Maybe you should shower for a couple days.”
I hit the tub, scrubbed for an hour or two,
But that silage juice won’t say adieu!
Chorus:
If you spill silage juice on your clothes, congratulations,
You’re now officially single, no need for invitations.
That smell’s so strong, it could clear the whole nation,
You’re gettin’ no hugs, forget conversation.
You’re the king of the farm, but love’s on the loose,
All thanks to that silage juice!
Bridge:
They say love conquers all, but they never knew,
What a whiff of fermented grass can do.
I guess cows dig it, but people, not so much,
So now I’m just here with the goats and such.
Verse 3:
Well, I’m back in the barn, smellin’ like a barnyard brawl,
Even the chickens won’t come when I call.
The cows just nod, like, “Yeah, we’ve been there,”
But no amount of mooing will fix this affair.
So, I’ll keep my distance, and embrace the stench,
At least the tractor doesn’t flinch on the bench.
And until that silage smell decides to die,
Looks like it’s just me, myself, and I!
Chorus:
If you spill silage juice on your clothes, congratulations,
You’re now officially single, no need for speculations.
The cows don’t mind, they’ll give you admiration,
But the rest of the world? Total isolation.
You’re the talk of the farm, but not in a good way,
Thanks to that silage juice, you’re flyin’ solo today!
Outro:
So here’s to the single life, brought to you by the pit,
If you spill silage juice, well, that’s just it!
No date nights, no dances, just cows and the crew,
And a lingering scent that’s worse than cow poo!
————
Silage Juice and Single ‘Til Further Notice
Silage Juice and Single ‘Til Further Notice
by Alan Nafzger (2021)
Down by the pit, I worked with grit,
Loading up silage, not ready to quit.
But then it splashed, a mess so grand,
Silage juice dripping, right where I stand.
At first, I thought, “It’s just some grass,”
But the smell hit me, hard and fast!
Looked at my boots, held back a choke,
That silage juice, it’s no joke!
Now, if you spill silage juice, beware,
You’ll lose your love life, with no one to care.
That stench, it clings like a bad mistake,
You’ll be sleeping alone, for goodness’ sake.
Forget romance, forget the dance,
That silage juice? You’ve lost your chance.
I walked in the house, tried to stay cool,
But one sniff and she said, “You smell like a mule!”
She lit a candle, sprayed the room wide,
But that silage juice wouldn’t hide.
“Honey, I love you, but need some space,
You’d better scrub down for a couple days.”
I scrubbed for hours, but no use,
That smell stuck like glue, that silage juice!
They say love conquers, but never knew,
What fermented grass can really do.
The cows might love it, but people, no way,
Now I’m here alone at the end of the day.
Back in the barn, smelling like dirt,
Even the chickens give me the curt.
So here’s to being single, thanks to the pit,
Spill some silage, and love will quit.
No more hugs, no tender affection,
Just me and the cows, with no objection!
Last Updated on September 14, 2024 by Alan Nafzger
Originally posted 2020-09-12 06:36:44.
Originally Published at FarmerCowboy.com
2024-09-14 06:54:38
Karl Hoffman is a distinguished agriculturalist with over four decades of experience in sustainable farming practices. He holds a Ph.D. in Agronomy from Cornell University and has made significant contributions as a professor at Iowa State University. Hoffman’s groundbreaking research on integrated pest management and soil health has revolutionized modern agriculture. As a respected farm journalist, his column “Field Notes with Karl Hoffman” and his blog “The Modern Farmer” provide insightful, practical advice to a global audience. Hoffman’s work with the USDA and the United Nations FAO has enhanced food security worldwide. His awards include the USDA’s Distinguished Service Award and the World Food Prize, reflecting his profound impact on agriculture and sustainability.
